so happy?

So I've been thinking a lot about Sam's latest tactic to not get in trouble. When he sees that I am upset, either with my face or my voice, he says to me, "You so happy Mommy?"
Oddly enough it usually works in the way that he hopes. It actually does make me take a step back and realize that whatever it is that has made me mad, probably is something not worth getting angry over. He has a little look of concern on his face when he says it, so I usually give him a little smile and tell him that I am happy.

But it really does make me think. Is he going to remember me as the parent who was always getting ticked off at everything? Or when he's older and he thinks of me, will he think of a mother who could laugh things off? Often I will get upset with him for something like him purposely knocking over the laundry basket of the clothes I just folded, or spilling his drink on a freshly swept or mopped floor. When I do take the time to think about it, I realize that it may add another five or ten minutes to the dreaded housework, but it's usually not worth hurting the feelings of your little loved ones. They are just kids being kids.

Also, it has helped me to stop in the moment, and think, "AM I happy?" And the answer is always "YES! I am happy!" Sometimes it's hard to remember that I am happy (especially when I am over-tired!) but I am happy... and it's because I am so blessed! I have an amazing husband who is sensitive and understanding to my weaknesses. I have a charming 2 year old boy who helps me see the joy in life. I have a beautiful baby girl that reminds me of the blessings of motherhood. I have a nice home to live in, I have food to eat, I have clothes to wear. I have a husband who enjoys his job, but is excited each day to come home to his family. I have amazing parents and in-laws who have set an example for me in so many ways. I have 3 awesome sisters and lots and lots of brothers and sisters in law to look up to. I have a great life. And I am happy. My goal is to not only BE happy, but to show others, especially my children, that I am happy. I don't want the little things to get in the way of my ability to have a good day. In the big picture, those things don't matter. And I don't want those little things to determine whether I am happy or not.

I think President Monson says it best, "Let us relish life as we live it, find joy in the journey, and share our love with friends and family."

So the question I ask you... Are you so happy?

baby soup

This is Sam's idea of what all cereal is:

This is mommy's idea of what baby cereal is:

I told Sam we were giving the baby her cereal.
He gave me an incredulous look and said,
"That not ceeri, that soup!"

Peek-a-boo

Whenever I get the camera out, Sam thinks it's a pretty fun game to drive me nuts! He likes to hide or just be plain silly. Here, he did both. What a funny kiddo.

I got the camera out because we had just gotten back from the Draper Temple Open House. (Amazing if I do say so myself.) The kids were dressed up and they just looked so darn cute that I had to take some pictures.

Livia doesn't mind when I get snap-happy.

But this one took me a little while to get: I only had to bribe this time, instead of bribing AND threatening. (Not too many threats were said under my breath either! Boy I'm getting good.)

Yeah, so don't mind the little spill on his pants from the post-tour refreshments.

And finally, the two little loves just loving each other. (In a 2 year old and 3 month old kind of way.)

Tagged

See Rachel! I told you I'd get around to it!

5 things:

5 things I was doing 10 years ago:
1. thinking i was a big tough senior in high school
2. getting excited for the bismarck temple to be finished
3. confusing myself with liking 2 boys
4. smiling with a braces-free mouth
5. working hard on my grades so i could be the valedictorian

5 things on my to-do list:
1. create a meal plan
2. go grocery shopping
3. send out belated Christmas cards
4. find a place for everything in my house
5. pay a few more bills

5 snacks I enjoy:
1. tapioca pudding
2. costco tortillas
3. fresh fruit
4. twix bar
5. ice cream

5 things I would do if I were a millionaire:
1. pay my tithing
2. go shopping!
3. be a secret santa all year long
4. travel
5. buy a maid

5 places I've lived:
1. Tuttle, ND
2. Rexburg, ID
3. Provo, UT
4. Buenos Aires, Argentina
5. Springville, UT

5 jobs I've had:
1. slave to my sisters
2. Heating Plant Secretary
3. MTC Spanish teacher
4. seamstress
5. MOM!!

5 people I tag:
1. Serena
2. Lisa
3. Karie
4. Brooke
5. not Megan because she hates being tagged. unless you want to:)

(anyone can do it though!)

Christmas Crazies

Hey! Tuttle got a new sign! (Well they did since the last time I was there in Oct 07.)

Yep, this is the WHOLE thriving metropolis we call Tuttle, ND.
(Except the gas station.)

Oh, now we are good. (This is the gas station... I know it's hard to tell.)

I do miss the beautiful horizons by the farm.

And I miss the farm too. (It's where those trees are.)

If you look hard, you can see that there is a road here... and it leads right into the yard.

Yummy gingerbread house... well, it used to be a house until 8 kids got a hold of it.

Kylee with gingerbread rubbish.

One of the highlights of Jason's week. Playing with fire. (To burn the garbage.)

Maybe he's cold?

Maggie loved the space... but disloved the cold more... hence... an inside doggie.

Emmalynn quite proud of her clump of snow.

Lazy-man sledding.

Sam loved the ride... Thanks Uncle Ron!

Hey, Sam... isn't that supposed to be for Santa?

What? Santa who?

The reindeer get oatmeal for the nourishment and glitter for the magic.

7 kids excited to sprinkle the reindeer food outside... and then Sam is there too.

Now he's showing a little more enthusiasm.

Aah, heck with the reindeer, I'm hungry too. Hmmm, glitter's not half bad.

Nana reading the Christmas story from Luke 2.

My dad has always called me Smurfette, so when I was little I had a stuffed Smurfette. Now Livia gets one to call her own too.

To infinity and beyond!

Livia is all tuckered out.

What's Christmas without men getting toys?

Christmas Jammies. That's a lot of red.

My 2 little sweethearts.

Christmas morning... Santa came!

The result of an impatient child who is inexperienced in the art of peeling oranges.

Santa visited Livia too. Too bad she didn't really care.

She did like the teddy bear from Santa though. I thought it was cute how she's holding its arm so tight.

Did I mention that Santa brought Daddy a laser?

Santa apparently doesn't like Preston's mom and dad too much!

Kari's favorite color is 'rainbow.' Enough said.

Nana and Papa with all their grandchildren.
(Yes, we intentionally color-coordinated them.)

My mountain man husband.


Thanks Nana and Papa for letting so many people invade your house for over a week!

In Loving Memory

Grandma made the best cookies. And bread. And pretty much anything else she made. I guess grandmas are like that though. Mine was no exception. I seldom remember a time going into her house and not finding cookies on the far end of the counter. She's the only one I know that made date cookies. She used to bring back fruit gems from her yearly trip to Arizona. I would always find a reason to go into her room to see if I could find a box, so that I could make big hints that I sure would like one! Even years after she stopped going to AZ, I would still see that box in her closet... too bad it took me years to realize that by then there was probably something in it other than fruit gems. (No wonder she didn't take my hints after a while.) Cream of Mushroom soup still reminds me of her... it was her favorite soup. I loved to play 'Peek and No Peek' with her. (I wonder if I still remember the rules...) One time when she was doing the dishes, I told her how much I disliked doing the dishes. She told me that she loves to wash the dishes because she gets to splash her hands in the water. After that I tried to have fun 'splashing' in the water... but the bore of doing the dishes still outweighed the fun of splashing. One time when I was maybe 9 or 10, I was home alone for some reason. I really thought it wouldn't be that bad... until it became dark, and every little noise was magnified. I turned on all the lights so that I could stop crying. When that didn't work, I called Grandma. She said she would be there soon to stay with me until my parents returned. As soon as I hung up the phone I stopped crying because I knew my Grandma would be there soon and that I would have no reason to be afraid anymore.

In recent years her health started declining. She had more frequent trips to the hospital, but she always pulled through. I have always thought of her as a strong and dependent woman. Until the last 10 or 15 years, or maybe less, the only times she stayed in the hospital was when she gave birth to her 6 children. When she was young she was asked to play on one of the Professional Women's Basketball Teams. I always wanted to hear about that, but she always brushed it off like it was no big deal.

Grandma had a great sense of humor. She always made me laugh. She was never trying to be funny... she just was... naturally. Last summer my sister, Ronda, asked her what we were going to do next May for her 90th birthday. She said, "I'm not going to be here in May." "Well, Grandma, where ARE you going to be?" She responded by pointing and said, "Either up there or down there, no one knows yet." I feel pretty confident that she went up.

All my growing up years, Grandma just lived three miles down the road. We had Thanksgiving there, I think every year? All of us grandkids (she had 13 grandkids and now 14 great grandkids.) would sit on the floor around the glass-topped coffee table. All the adults sat around the regular table and a few of my uncles would eat about half of all the food that was there.

Grandma was a devout Lutheran, and a true example of a Christian woman. She was never unkind, she never criticized, and she was always patient.

I'm so grateful I was able to go to ND for Christmas. I knew she was not doing too well, so I wanted to see her one last time. After church on my first Sunday there, I went to see her. She had been moved to a nursing home because her doctor wouldn't release her to go home. She lived with my Uncle, who lives 3 miles from my parents, so about 70 miles from the hospital in Bismarck. She didn't want to go, and it was so hard for my dad and his siblings to make that decision, but they didn't have much for options. When I walked into her room that Sunday, it broke my heart to see her in the state she was in. It took me a while to wake her. She only responded when I told her my name. I know she remembered who I was. I talked to her for a while without much response. When I said I would go so that she could rest, she asked me a question. I sat back down and talked for a few minutes more. Then when I got up to leave again, she did the same thing. She did that about 3 times, so when I finally did leave it was so hard, because I felt like she wanted me to be there, even though she wasn't joining in much on the conversation. Most of the time I was there, I just cried. I knew she was in pain and didn't want to be there anymore. The next day I was back up in Bismarck with my mom and sisters. We went to see her during her lunch time. My mom asked her if she could open her eyes to see her newest great grandbaby, my Livia. I put Livia right in front of her, and wished with all my heart she would have the desire to at least look at her. When she put her head up and opened her eyes just long enough to look at my baby, tears came to my eyes. The next Sunday, on our way out, to go home, we stopped to see her one more time. I knew this would be the last time I would ever see her on this earth. I held her hand as the Hospice nurse talked to my 2 aunts. After about 20 minutes, I knew I had to say my goodbyes. I knew it would be hard, but I didn't know how hard. I hugged her and told her that I wouldn't be able to come back anymore to see her. I told her I loved her. And I can't even express how much it meant to me that she responded to me, "I love you." I told her to rest well. And I left with tears in my eyes.

After seeing her the first Sunday, and seeing how much pain she was in and how bad she wanted to go Home, I changed my prayers. I prayed that Heavenly Father would take her back home to be with Him. It pained me to see her so frail and helpless. She had been a widow for over 28 years. I can't imagine going so long without my companion by my side. I know there was a beautiful reunion beyond the veil the day she died.

As strange as it is to realize that my grandma passed away, and that she's not sitting in her chair twiddling her thumbs, (she's the only I know who literally does that!) I'm grateful that she is beyond the pain and the loneliness of her mortal life. I'm grateful that she has been reunited with Grandpa and our Heavenly Father. I'm grateful for the example that she was to me and the wonderful mother she was to my father... that she raised him to be the man and father that he is. She lived a full and purposeful life and I feel privileged to have been a part of it.

Grandma, you will be missed, rest in peace.

In loving memory of Emma Virginia Bjork Riskedahl, May 17, 1919 - December 29, 2008